Why I Have Bad Hair
It’s not a funny story, but it does have a funny ending. A twist, if you will. You see - I went to get a hair cut last Friday at my new cheap-o hair cutting place. I thought I was ahead of the game - I’d get there right as they opened; be in and out in no time.
When I walked in, there was only one other client - perfect. I was taken back to the chair right away, and my hair cut began moments later - all good. Then there is a shuffle in the other chair. A noise of some kind. The woman cutting my hair says, “What’s happening over there? Seizure? Oh, my - A seizure.”
That’s right. So I call 911. I tell the attendant the name of the shop and the shopping center. She asks me if the street address she reads from her system is correct. “I’ll have to leave that up to you,” I said, “I have no idea.” I help out by supporting the woman in the chair (I know you are not to restrain folks when they are seizing - that is not what I was doing, just keeping her from falling to the ground). I tell the employees to look on her wrists for medical bracelets, or in her purse for information. EMS arrives. One of them asks me her name. I tell him I don’t know. He repeats the question. I repeat my answer, this time I add that her purse is on the chair next to us. He repeats the question. Again, “I have no idea. That is her purse.” “Oh.”
They take care of her. They ask questions; we don’t know the answers. They tell us they are taking her to the hospital. They leave.
So I go back to my chair and sit down. The woman who was cutting my hair stares blankly for a moment and then comes to stand behind me, scissors in hand.
I reconsider the haircut.
Since she has already begun, and honestly I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, I did not stop her. In retrospect, this was not a wise choice.
Her hand shook. She could not concentrate. She kept repeating “I’m alright, now. I’m fine.” She kept pulling the hair on the sides of my head out to compare lengths in the mirror… and then cutting more and more.
It is not my worst haircut, not by far. But not good. A quick example: You know how the hair line on those guys in Dumb and Dumber went straight across the front, Three Stooges-style? I have that, except mine is at a 20 degree angle, sloping up from left to right. Nice, huh?
One quick educational bit, though: The employees kept looking for something to put in the mouth of the woman who suffered the seizure. I wanted to tell them not to, but wasn’t sure that was a bad thing to do. Turns out – it is bad. Do not put items in the mouth of a seizure victim.
